And my family grows by 1....

March 26th, 2011 my brother and his wife renewed their vows to one another one year after getting married in an intimate affair on March 25th, 2010.  Family and friends gathered together to witness the renewal of the binding love between the two of them and pretty much nothing could go wrong....well except for Jeff (aka their "minister") being held up on a plane with no pilot because the computer systems went amuck...but him and Jenelle eventually made it! I took a few moments to take in the visuals that lay before me and I realized that sometimes we have to just stop look around and take a picture, not just with your camera but in your mind. Embrace the vision of love, happiness with the sounds of laughter and chatter. Watching the people I care about so happy filled me with this uplifting feeling that I will never forget...I will say it over and over again as you read these blogs that I literally have THE MOST AMAZING family.  The way they laugh, the way they smile, the way they love with everything they have, the way they support, the way they appreciate life ... Every member of my family amazes me in one way or another and I know that if a day ever came that I had nothing but my family that would still make me the luckiest, richest person I know. 

I smiled as I watched my uncle twirl the glowing bride around on the dance floor...I smiled as I watched my brother so handsome and so grown up converse with everyone, all with this big smile on his face and his chest out so proud of this love he had found and will have for the rest of his life and quite honestly HAD for most of his life. 

Let me take a few steps back here...Aaron and Cara met years ago in grade school, our families shared holidays, vacations to Vegas, Laughlin, camping to name a few. They were destined from the beginning...and while they tested fate many times from the ages of 13 to the age of 30 they realized it was meant to be After All.  There's something about destiny, fate, and soul mates that is so magical....the twists, the turns, the ups, the downs, the laughs, the cries, the tests, the trials....none of it matters because whats meant to be will be. It's no wonder they chose After All as their wedding song: 

"After all the stops and starts
We keep coming back to these two hearts
Two angels who've been rescued from the fall
And after all that we've been through
It all comes down to me and you
I guess it's meant to be
Forever you and me
After all"

As I watched them renew their vows smiling it all felt more right than it ever had before. They danced their first dance and smiled and whispered to one another. 

Life is funny, it's funny because at the end of the day things JUST WORK. Whether you think it's been a bad day, or you maybe got frustrated about something, or you cried a good cry for no reason you can explain....it kind of all is worth it for moments like this when NOT ONE THING in the whole world seems wrong: It's exactly how it should be....it's just right!

 

 

 

Congratulations Aaron & Cara...

Here's to a life full of laughs, love, happiness, health and wealth!

Love your Shelly :o)

Eyes Wide Shut...

Your first thought was probably Tom Cruise and Nicole Kidman's movie but no lol...the title is representative of that feeling of thinking you had it all figured it out, thinking you really felt you were in a place where you know who you are, you know who the people in your life are, you feel almost at peace a little bit because for once there are no questions lingering that keep you wondering if you are making good or bad decisions, wondering if you are putting the right people ahead of the wrong ones, opening up to those deserving of you, putting it all on the line for the ones you hope might do the same for you....and it's that moment you realize that well, you were wrong.  It's that moment you close your eyes because you had gotten to a point where you weren't afraid to see what you saw so you kept them open ready take it all in....but the moment you realize you were wrong, you shut your eyes hoping it will be a false vision and when you open your eyes, things will be back to the vision that you felt comfortable with.

I'm going to be thirty in 4 months and it seems the lessons just keep rolling in, and the funny thing is they are rolling in so quickly that it's almost like I'm back in school, trying to figure out a way to remember it all and hopefully not forget anything for the next test.  Every day there are people who change your life in a way you notice right away or maybe don't notice until they are gone, or maybe it's just a gradual change you grow to appreciate. We have friends, we have family, we have coworkers, classmates, lovers, husbands, wives, girlfriends, boyfriends......each one of these people leave a mark; good, bad, unforgettable, memorable, painful.  We don't get to choose what kind of mark they leave with us, we just make the choice to keep them or let them go no matter what or why or when.  We make the choice to take a chance on allowing someone who starts as a complete stranger become a part of our life.  We may keep them at a distance for awhile playing it safe to see if they will bite or not, we may naturally just let them see all the chapters right away because for some reason they let you be yourself and make you feel comfortable enough to do so.  In times like this we don't worry about what they might do with that advantage of getting you to let your guard down, trust them, hope they won't make you regret letting them see the real you so quickly.

I find that the fear of being an open book has overcome me greatly due to experiences with people that I never questioned, that I took risks with.  I've closed many chapters making them almost unattainable ... I've kept the chapters attainable to a rare few keeping the faith that they won't let me down, making sure that they are deserving of it. Unfortunately some took the chapters and ran, others still keep them quite sacred.  Being a cancer and all, I am surprised to find these disappointments a relief.... Relieved that some things aren't what they seem, some people are so far from where you placed them in your mind that it becomes a humorous disappointment instead of a painful one.  Relieved because you know you have been the best person you could be and just because people may not appreciate that or reciprocate that, doesn't mean you are doing anything wrong or anything in question:

It simply means that maybe I was wrong about people but at the end of the day, I was never wrong about myself, about my choices, about who I have been for the people in my life and that I will never be wrong in who I will continue to be or who I will grow to become for people who choose to be a part of my life. 

Things happen, people come and go perhaps to love you, to hate you, to distract you, to comfort you, to teach you, to listen to you, to need you, to want you, to hurt you or simply just to help you grow.  Embracing the reason, the experience, the lesson is the only way to keep looking forward, to never look back with regret and to allow each person you meet along the journey to leave their mark ---- helping to keep your eyes open to all the possibilities you might otherwise miss if your eyes had been wide shut.