White Flag....

I woke up today with the same inner battle and the same question...Have I won or have I lost?  And realistically the more I think about it, if the fight is within myself isn't the answer both?  I have won and lost? Ok so maybe I'm becoming a bit too philosophical here or perhaps my psychology degree has decided to grace me with it's presence.  Either way, I must admit that this battle within myself is between the two most powerful components that make up who I am...it's like Lakers vs. Celtics, Angels vs. Red Sox (ok maybe not lately, but I am a fan of my Halos win or lose).  

HEAD VERSUS HEART.....I haven't quite figured out how to lead with both because every situation I feel I experience through rationality OR emotion/feeling (which I must admit is more of a gut than heart thing...but for all intensive purposes, the heart and gut pretty much go hand in hand).  I've always been a pretty rational person when it comes to the day to day things, always thinking about actions and consequences, if this than that, etc.  But being a CANCER, which at times pretty much is my sole basis for any decision I make, I tend to react due to emotion ... that sense of feeling that can't be explained.  It's a feeling that beats my mind to the punch; it doesn't allow me to even think, JUST feel. This isn't always a good thing because I'm sure if I sat here long enough I would come up with thousands of things that may make you feel great, but most likely isn't great FOR you.  So everyday for a few months now, I have woken up and fallen asleep with this rational versus feeling battle...hoping that one day the battle ends.  And when asking for advice, the reactions are different follow your heart, no follow your head.  But we all follow one or the other based upon what has successfully worked, based on lessons learned, and based upon whether or not that "feeling" hurt us or was really GREAT for us.  When dealing with the heart, it's all about risk and chances you take based upon a feeling, when dealing with the mind it's all about experience.  When you think about what you should do, you very quickly go through that filing cabinet in your head so you can reference the decision you are about to make with one that someone you know made, or perhaps one you made yourself before. 

So when do we surrender and to which do we surrender to?  The heart or the mind?  You can argue and say they go hand in hand but at the end of the day, one always wins over the other.  Perhaps I'm just wrong all together and it's not really a battle but instead a process of compromise.  The mind offers a little, the heart offers a little...creating an equal balance of logic and emotion, leaving no room to ignore either one because let's face it without one or the other we simply cannot survive.